Friday, May 9, 2008

Ways to Kill Two Birds with One Stone

1) Strap down both birds with twine. Strike Bird 1 in head with stone. Strike Bird 2 in head with same stone.
2) Break large stone in half with large hammer. Throw first half at Bird 1 as hard as you can. Throw second half at Bird 2 as hard as you can. Repeat as necessary.
3) Force Bird 1 to ingest stone. Wait for death. With a scalpel, remove stone from carcass of Bird 1. Strike Bird 2 in head with same stone.
4) Using a slingshot, fire stone at Bird 1. Recover stone from yard, making sure it's the original stone. Strike Bird 2 in head with same stone.

2 comments:

Ibuster said...

5) Hold 2 birds by the neck with your left hand so they are beak to beak. Take 1 giant stone in right hand and drop on both faces at once.

Tobias said...

That's also an excellent method. Thanks, Phil