Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Friday, September 3, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Seattle Cartoonist Receives Cartoonish Death Threats

After portraying the Prophet Mohammed in a recent cartoon, Seattle cartoonist Molly Norris has been targeted for assassination by radical al Qaeda cleric Anwar al-Awlaki. In the article that ran in Inspire, an English-language al Qaeda magazine, al-Awlaki calls for a giant anvil to be dropped on Norris or for someone to deliver her a bouquet of flowers containing lit sticks of TNT. At press time, Norris has not commented, but it is rumored that when she first heard about the threats she jumped up in the air and her eyes popped out of her head.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Man Eats Hummus at Party Just to Look Cool

Rob Eldridge doesn’t like hummus. He doesn’t like the way it tastes. He doesn’t like the way it smells. He doesn’t like its texture. He doesn’t even like triangle-sliced pita bread, but when he approached the snack table at his buddy Derrick’s party on Saturday night and locked eyes with the gorgeous brunette standing there—alone—holding a huge glass of Pinot grigio, he knew he had an important decision to make. The meatballs looked good—real good, but they would be messy and out him as a boorish Philistine. Going for the crudités would flag him as health-conscious but slightly feminine. And then he saw it. Hummus. He put down his Heineken, spooned himself a dollop, and artfully tonged four pita slices onto his little plate. He shot a glance at the girl before decisively sliding the first bite into his mouth. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and stepped closer to her. “How’s the Pinot?” he asked.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Opinion: A Master's degree is just a piece of paper...

...that I put in an agarwood frame and mount conspicuously on the wall in my corner/city-view office at my new job where I make three times what I made two years ago. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hop on a conference call with Gerrit Zalm.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish Fish Found Dead in West Hollywood Apartment

“Frankie the Fish”—the singing salesfish for the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich—was found dead early Thursday morning in his West Hollywood, Calif., apartment. TMZ is reporting that Frankie was seen late Wednesday night making a "Dollar Menu" run after hanging at swank Hollywood nightclub The Viper Room with Ashley Olsen, Steve-O, and Pete Doherty. Frankie skyrocketed to fame in 2009 largely due to a wildly popular series of Lenten Filet-O-Fish sandwich commercials. He also starred in several independent films including This Fish's Life and Don't Worry, Be Happy: The Story of Big Mouth Billy Bass. His school, which resides in a pond outside of Morton, Miss., has asked for privacy as they mourn their loss. Frankie was three years old.

Health-Care Reform is Done for Now... What's Next?

The nation’s rich are concerned that—now that legislation has passed making affordable health insurance available to an estimated 95 percent of non-elderly citizens—Congress will turn its attention to legislation aiming to make access to country clubs more affordable for the middle class.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Frito-Lay Study Disproves Link between Cheetos Dust and Orange Fingers

Sports: Redskins Taking a Hard Look at Blowing a Draft Pick

According to Head Coach Mike Shanahan, the Redskins still have a lot of options on the table, but the team is "certainly considering crumbling up a second round draft pick and tossing it in the trash."

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Opinion: I'm Not Scared of the Dark

I'm not sure who got this rumor going, but it's not true.

I'm NOT scared of the dark!

Don't get me wrong, there have been times in my life when I've been spooked, and--yes--some of those times have involved darkness, but it's completely unfair to make sweeping statements about what I am and am not scared of.

There are certainly dicey things out there in the dark, such as: robbers, murderers, ghouls, and things to trip over. I AM scared of those things, but not the darkness in which they reside. Thank you.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

"Excuse me, sir..."

When members of the Greenpeace Street Team stop me on the street to ask me if I have a minute to talk about the environment, I like to ask them if they have a minute to talk about model airplanes.

Friday, February 26, 2010

From the Department of Redundancy Department

This ATM machine is "out of service (will not dispense cash)". My question is: Will it continue to dispense Jujyfruits and SuperBalls? Further, how can one make a deposit with the screen covered up?

I said "ATM machine" on purpose (see entry title).

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Thick or Thin?

The New York Times is catching some flack for two of its recent blog entries calling out “Mad Men” actress Christina Hendricks for looking “big” at the Golden Globes on Sunday. The Times also (inadvertently) ran an altered photo of Hendricks that made her look a bit thick. I’m surprised that there hasn't been similar outcry over recent comments regarding Philip Seymour Hoffman's slenderness.