Family Planning?

I can understand how one could argue for condoms being logically shelved in CVS's"family planning" section...

...but I'm really curious to know the role of a "Vibrating Mini Personal Massager" in the family planning process.

Your Jumper is Garbage

The brilliant minds behind the NBA City theme-restaurant in Orlando, Fla., thought it would be a sweet idea to put basketball hoops over the trashcans in the restrooms. In other news, the restaurant's janitors think the trash hoops are stupid.

Ironic Terrorist Sect Threatens Minneapolis’s Target Center

Michael Jackson Limerick Contest Winner

And the winner is...

There once lived a singer fantastic
Who had a face made all of plastic.
Though that fact he denied
'til the day that he died
His face morph since Thriller was drastic.

Massive respect, winner. Shoot me an e-mail and I'll arrange getting you your Vintage Vantage tee.
Thanks for playing, everyone. Stay tuned for more upcoming contests.

Michael Jackson Limerick Contest FINALISTS

Nice job, everyone, on the limericks. Impressive. It was really tough to pick four finalists, so I picked five. Please cast your vote (over to the right) by COB Tuesday (and then go ahead and head home for the day). Remember, the winner gets a tee shirt of his or her choice from Vintage Vantage.

A feminine black man made hits
In the 80s and plus a few since
Embraced by the gays
He loved purple berets
oh shit I'm thinking of prince

There once was a singer called Jacko,
Who was more than a little bit wacko...
He sang for the planet,
Had a sister called Janet,
And at half time she showed us her rack-o!

There once was a spawn of Joe Jackson
Who looked far less Nubian than Saxon
How lunarly he did walk
Despite a complexion of chalk
In peace may he now be relaxin'

There once lived a singer fantastic
Who had a face made all of plastic.
Though that fact he denied
'til the day that he died
His face morph since Thriller was drastic.

The most famous pop icon of all
Gave us "Thriller", "Bad" and "Off the Wall".
And, though, later he did
Take long "naps" with young kids,
These are facts we choose not to recall.

Michael Jackson Limerick Contest

In order to pay tribute to one of the greatest performers of all time, I call upon all my friends out there to craft Michael Jackson limericks and post them as comments on this post. They can be funny, sentimental, or straight up weird, but let's try to be somewhat respectful and keep the shots above the belt. If you don't know what a limerick is, pull yourself together and go here.

Here's an example:

There once was a talent from Gary
Who sang and who danced oh so merry.
They called him the King,
And to him they’d cling.
Some fans he had bordered on scary.

Feel free to submit as many as you'd like between now and 11:59 p.m. on Wednesday, July 8. Like I did with the photo caption contest, I'll pick my four favorites and put it to a vote. The author of the winning limerick gets a tee shirt of his or her choice courtesy of the good people at VintageVantage.com. I highly recommend this one.

So get to it, fools.