Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Michael Jackson Limerick Contest

In order to pay tribute to one of the greatest performers of all time, I call upon all my friends out there to craft Michael Jackson limericks and post them as comments on this post. They can be funny, sentimental, or straight up weird, but let's try to be somewhat respectful and keep the shots above the belt. If you don't know what a limerick is, pull yourself together and go here.

Here's an example:

There once was a talent from Gary
Who sang and who danced oh so merry.
They called him the King,
And to him they’d cling.
Some fans he had bordered on scary.

Feel free to submit as many as you'd like between now and 11:59 p.m. on Wednesday, July 8. Like I did with the photo caption contest, I'll pick my four favorites and put it to a vote. The author of the winning limerick gets a tee shirt of his or her choice courtesy of the good people at I highly recommend this one.

So get to it, fools.


James Cambridge said...

A man with a studded glove
And oh the kids he did love
And while acquitted
You know he hit it
And his heart did die thereof

Dirte said...

There once was a spawn of Joe Jackson
Who looked far less Nubian than Saxon
How lunarly he did walk
Despite a complexion of chalk
In peace may he now be relaxin'

skippy haha said...

There once was a boy who could dance
He wore white socks and very short pants
His dad made him whacko
The folks called him Jacko
He touched young boys when given the chance

Sten said...

There once lived a singer fantastic
Who had a face made all of plastic.
Though that fact he denied
'til the day that he died
His face morph since Thriller was drastic.

vintage vantage said...

A feminine black man made hits
In the 80s and plus a few since
Embraced by the gays
He loved purple berets
oh shit I'm thinking of prince

Veronica Sellier said...

There once was a man with many troubles
It was rumored he even had body doubles
In '84 his hair caught a flame
The Pepsi commercial was to blame
But at least he had his good friend Bubbles

Dirte said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dirte said...

There once was a thriller named Michael
Host to more boys' fingers than a dike hole
Was the youngest of brothers
And if he had his 'druthers
In the next life he'd come back a uni-cycle

Sanford said...

The most famous pop icon of all
Gave us "Thriller", "Bad" and "Off the Wall".
And, though, later he did
Take long "naps" with young kids,
These are facts we choose not to recall.

Anonymous said...

Poor Michael is with us no more,
His exit, stage left, through the door,
Premature, to be sure,
But expect soon, the tour:
Janet J with (kerr-ching) Jackson Four.

Amy said...

His life was a premature loss,
Though I doubt he was on the sauce
But one wants to ask
What’s under the mask
And why will your kids to Mrs. Ross?

Greg said...

Evil Joe plotted his rise when in utero
His sequined glove covered up his vitiligo
To Billy Jean he said “beat it,”
But with pills, he though “eat it”
He’s been struck by… smooth pharmaceuticals.

B.R. said...

A man named Mike liked to sing,
MTV's success he did bring.
With young boys he was flirty,
His Diana was Dirty,
With pills he had more than a fling.

kid D said...

that mj sure could dance
his music put me in a transe
his skeletons out for all to see
still his music touched me
too bad he never had the chance

jonf said...

Why is no one concerned for Lisa Marie?
Her ex-husband lost to eternity.
They met when she was seven
Upon marriage he dreamed she was eleven
His savior, she can not list on her C.V.

Unknown said...

King of Pop dead: drug abuse?
Oxys, valtrex, or Jesus juice?
Fans miss his gloved hand
and kids return to Neverland
MJ's no longer on the loose

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Andrew said...

There once was a singer called Jacko,
Who was more than a little bit wacko...
He sang for the planet,
Had a sister called Janet,
And at half time she showed us her rack-o!

Joel Sellier said...

MJ had moves we all watched like a hawk.
He could sing but scared kids if he'd talk.
Born blacker than in Haiti,
Though he died a white lady.
But you still can't touch his moonwalk.

skippy haha said...

hey TONT -
got a couple limericks on our vintage vantage blog from "sunger" -

sunger said...

There once was a man who Beat It.
He had several Number One hit(s).
He was the King of Pop
From a balcony a baby he almost did drop.
Some say his legacy is shit.
July 7, 2009 1:32 PM

sunger said...

There once was a man from Gary
That people thought looked somewhat scary.
Lisa Marie was his first wife
And some say drugs took his life
But today his body his family will bury.
July 7, 2009 1:34 PM said...

There once was a man from Jackson 5
Who sang and danced and performed live
He had some trouble in court
But was a good sport
and on June 25 he died