New “Idol” Host Looking Forward to Getting Wasted with Paula Abdul

Los Angeles, Calif., Jan. 7, 2009 – In a Jan. 6 interview with “Access Hollywood’s” Billy Bush, new “American Idol” host Kara DioGuardi expressed eager excitement about “getting really f*#ked up with (current “Idol” host) Paula (Abdul)” during the show’s eighth season. DioGuardi—the 38-year-old producer who has worked with such musicians as Gwen Stefani and Pink—went on to rave about Abdul’s unmatched access to prescription drugs, top-notch booze, and mega-chronic weed.

“It’s going to be a great season,” DioGuardi said, “I mean, I’m going to get paid for getting super banged up and criticizing people. It’s a dream come true. And to be able to do it with Paula Abdul… Wow.”

When reached for comment, most of Abdul’s ramblings were unintelligible. She was—however—able to semi-coherently slur, “Karen’s a really, really beautiful person” before dropping the phone.

New "American Idol" host Kara DioGuardi (second from L) helps Randy Jackson prop up Paula Abdul at a promotional event in San Diego.