Facebook Tortures Jennifer Aniston by Constantly Suggesting that She Friend John Mayer, Vince Vaughn and Brad Pitt

CytoSport Launches “Cartilage Milk” for People Trying to Build Ear, Nose and Rib Cage Mass

Jay-Z Finally Admits that a Bitch is to Blame for Six or Seven of His 99 Problems

Opinion: A Master's degree is just a piece of paper...

...that I put in an agarwood frame and mount conspicuously on the wall in my corner/city-view office at my new job where I make three times what I made two years ago. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to hop on a conference call with Gerrit Zalm.

McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish Fish Found Dead in West Hollywood Apartment

“Frankie the Fish”—the singing salesfish for the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich—was found dead early Thursday morning in his West Hollywood, Calif., apartment. TMZ is reporting that Frankie was seen late Wednesday night making a "Dollar Menu" run after hanging at swank Hollywood nightclub The Viper Room with Ashley Olsen, Steve-O, and Pete Doherty. Frankie skyrocketed to fame in 2009 largely due to a wildly popular series of Lenten Filet-O-Fish sandwich commercials. He also starred in several independent films including This Fish's Life and Don't Worry, Be Happy: The Story of Big Mouth Billy Bass. His school, which resides in a pond outside of Morton, Miss., has asked for privacy as they mourn their loss. Frankie was three years old.

Health-Care Reform is Done for Now... What's Next?

The nation’s rich are concerned that—now that legislation has passed making affordable health insurance available to an estimated 95 percent of non-elderly citizens—Congress will turn its attention to legislation aiming to make access to country clubs more affordable for the middle class.

Frito-Lay Study Disproves Link between Cheetos Dust and Orange Fingers

Sports: Redskins Taking a Hard Look at Blowing a Draft Pick

According to Head Coach Mike Shanahan, the Redskins still have a lot of options on the table, but the team is "certainly considering crumbling up a second round draft pick and tossing it in the trash."

Inventor Builds Time Machine to Get Supervisor Deliverable He Needed on His Desk "Yesterday"

Area Man Extremely Embarrassed to Ask Attractive Banana Republic Associate if There are Any More Extra Small Stretch Pima Cotton Briefs in the Back

Opinion: I'm Not Scared of the Dark

I'm not sure who got this rumor going, but it's not true.

I'm NOT scared of the dark!

Don't get me wrong, there have been times in my life when I've been spooked, and--yes--some of those times have involved darkness, but it's completely unfair to make sweeping statements about what I am and am not scared of.

There are certainly dicey things out there in the dark, such as: robbers, murderers, ghouls, and things to trip over. I AM scared of those things, but not the darkness in which they reside. Thank you.

"Excuse me, sir..."

When members of the Greenpeace Street Team stop me on the street to ask me if I have a minute to talk about the environment, I like to ask them if they have a minute to talk about model airplanes.