Receptionist: So what are you here to see the doctor regarding?Very Insecure Teenage Tobias: Uh… My complexion.
Receptionist: Your complexion or your acne?
VITT: Uh... My acne.
Mister Fritter 80s Vintage T-shirt
3 months ago
Friday, May 9, 2008
Conversation I Just Recalled from My First Trip to the Dermatologist
Receptionist: So what are you here to see the doctor regarding?Very Insecure Teenage Tobias: Uh… My complexion.
Receptionist: Your complexion or your acne?
VITT: Uh... My acne.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
McSweeney's WILL Publish Me, So Help Me God...
I think McSweeney's lists are hilarious. If you don't know about them, do yourself a favor: check out the link and take ten minutes to sample a few.
Anyhow, about a week ago, I decided that I wanted to create my own list and get it published. The first one I wrote was--admittedly--not that funny and got straight up rejected. In hindsight, I was a bit overexcited and hasty. My second effort was a bit more thoughtful. Unfortunately, it too was rejected--bringing my record to 0 and 2. On the bright side, this time, Chris the Listmaster offered the following pseudo-encouraging words:
Hi, Tobias -
This one is fun, but I'm afraid we're not going to use it. Hope you'll keep trying.
Best,
Chris
It's a soft-no, and I'll take it. Mark my words, Chris: I WILL keep trying.
Until then, here's the list that almost made it:
How Four Out of Five Dentists Explain the Fifth Dentist
Dentist One (out of five): “He just loves being difficult.”
Dentist Two (out of five): “This guy is walking proof of how powerful the pro-tooth decay lobby really is.”
Dentist Three (out of five): “I’d ask him what his deal is, but his breath reeks of fish sticks.”
Dentist Four (out of five): “He’s just trying to get back at us for quadruple-teaming his wife.”
More on this story as it develops...
Anyhow, about a week ago, I decided that I wanted to create my own list and get it published. The first one I wrote was--admittedly--not that funny and got straight up rejected. In hindsight, I was a bit overexcited and hasty. My second effort was a bit more thoughtful. Unfortunately, it too was rejected--bringing my record to 0 and 2. On the bright side, this time, Chris the Listmaster offered the following pseudo-encouraging words:
Hi, Tobias -
This one is fun, but I'm afraid we're not going to use it. Hope you'll keep trying.
Best,
Chris
It's a soft-no, and I'll take it. Mark my words, Chris: I WILL keep trying.
Until then, here's the list that almost made it:
How Four Out of Five Dentists Explain the Fifth Dentist
Dentist One (out of five): “He just loves being difficult.”
Dentist Two (out of five): “This guy is walking proof of how powerful the pro-tooth decay lobby really is.”
Dentist Three (out of five): “I’d ask him what his deal is, but his breath reeks of fish sticks.”
Dentist Four (out of five): “He’s just trying to get back at us for quadruple-teaming his wife.”
More on this story as it develops...
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tapes 'n Tapes, Boris Yeltsin
On April 8, new records dropped from Tapes 'n Tapes ("Walk it Off") and Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin ("Pershing"). I tried to scoop them both on that day, but the SSLYBY album was sold out (so I had to wait a couple days). Anyhow, they are both really good records.
I had the chance to see the bands on consecutive nights this week in DC. Tapes 'n Tapes was at the 9:30 Club on Wednesday night and SSLYBY (pictured above) was at the Black Cat last night.
Tapes 'n Tapes failed to play "Lines," which I think is among the best tracks on the new record, but they did play some great tunes from their previous album "The Loon," including maybe their best song "Omaha."
In terms of SSLYBL, I was really struck with how young, talented, and enthusiastic they were. They played all of my favorite tunes from the new record as well as the previous one, "Broom." Massive respect.
Really good shows...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Ethics Crisis + "No Comment" = Guilty
The Washington Post ran an article today about Air Force Maj. Gen. Stephen M. Goldfein, now vice director of the joint staff, and how--in Nov. 2005--he allegedly interfered in a multi-million dollar Air Force contract by inappropriately exercising his influence over subordinates. The contract was awarded to a relatively new company started by a recently retired four-star general and civilian pilot who had grown close to Air Force officials. A two-year probe determined that Goldfein had worked (and even gone to some pretty great lengths) to favor the company, whose offer was more than twice as expensive as another bid.
The Washington Post obtained a Defense Department Inspector General report that "offers a searing, blow-by-blow account of how a relatively mundane Air Force contract spun out of control, highlighting serious conflicts of interest in the selection process, officers stacking the deck in favor of friends, and others influencing a system designed to eliminate such favoritism in spending taxpayer dollars. "
Goldfein's response?
...
He declined to comment.
Nice call, Major. Why didn't you just repeat what you said in the report? That wasn't too bad. Even if you are guilty, can you at least say something ambiguous like, "This is a very unfortunate situation that is casting an undue cloud of doubt over an esteemed branch of the armed services?"
Come on!
The Washington Post obtained a Defense Department Inspector General report that "offers a searing, blow-by-blow account of how a relatively mundane Air Force contract spun out of control, highlighting serious conflicts of interest in the selection process, officers stacking the deck in favor of friends, and others influencing a system designed to eliminate such favoritism in spending taxpayer dollars. "
Goldfein's response?
...
He declined to comment.
Nice call, Major. Why didn't you just repeat what you said in the report? That wasn't too bad. Even if you are guilty, can you at least say something ambiguous like, "This is a very unfortunate situation that is casting an undue cloud of doubt over an esteemed branch of the armed services?"
Come on!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Not Your Father's Surrogate
An article in today's Washington Post discusses how Chelsea Clinton is really coming into her own as a spokesperson for her mother. For the past few months, she's been ramping up her (mostly) college campus visits and effectively delivering her mother's message to her peers. It was even noted that she recently brought up the Lewinsky--a topic that really shook her up a couple months ago when it was raised in a question directed at her.
For Hillary to have any success, Chelsea is going to have to continue to shine as a surrogate. A demographic that Hillary needs to reach--Facebook-using college students and young professionals--is the demographic that Chelsea best identifies with--a group that seems to lean toward Obama.
It will be interesting to see if her role continues to evolve.
For Hillary to have any success, Chelsea is going to have to continue to shine as a surrogate. A demographic that Hillary needs to reach--Facebook-using college students and young professionals--is the demographic that Chelsea best identifies with--a group that seems to lean toward Obama.
It will be interesting to see if her role continues to evolve.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Starbucks Baristas: Ready to Wait on You Hand and Foot… and (Sometimes) Kidney
I fear that I’ve become overly cynical.
Today I read a story about a Starbucks employee preparing to donate her kidney to a customer and I thought to myself, Wow! How did Starbucks make this happen?! Not only did they convince barista Sandra Andersen to get tested to see if her kidney was a fit for regular customer Annamarie Ausness, but she’s actually going to go through with it. You can’t buy this kind of positive PR!
The fact of the matter is that you really can’t buy this kind of PR. At least I don’t think you can. Could it be that good PR coming from positive media attention is often spontaneous and deserved? I’d say yes, but I also believe that Starbucks is an operation that prides itself on hiring and taking good care of quality employees—the kind of people who make customers feel like part of a special community—a community where they can ask for a “Venti Skinny Mocha Frap” (or whatever) and not get looked at like a dum-dum. By investing time and resources in employee acquisition and retention, Starbucks invests in its image and—every now and again—brings on board an associate who is ready to go to extraordinary lengths to please her customers (including—but not limited to—sacrificing body parts).
I’m certainly not discounting the communications/PR effort that likely went to landing this story in The New York Times and CNN.com. There’s no doubt in my mind that once Starbucks’ communications/PR folks found out that this was happening, they did everything in their power to get the word out. And I’m sure they did a top-notch job. The bottom line is that this isn’t a stunt. This is a good person doing a genuinely good and selfless deed. To me it’s refreshing to see news of this nature getting national exposure, especially when you consider the fear, hate, and negativity that makes up most of the news we see today. This is a story that deserves its coverage.
I don’t know about you, but tomorrow morning I’m not only going to Starbucks for my ($2.06) cup of Joe, but I’m tossing a little extra coin in the tip jar. Who knows… Maybe my barista is my bone marrow match.
Today I read a story about a Starbucks employee preparing to donate her kidney to a customer and I thought to myself, Wow! How did Starbucks make this happen?! Not only did they convince barista Sandra Andersen to get tested to see if her kidney was a fit for regular customer Annamarie Ausness, but she’s actually going to go through with it. You can’t buy this kind of positive PR!
The fact of the matter is that you really can’t buy this kind of PR. At least I don’t think you can. Could it be that good PR coming from positive media attention is often spontaneous and deserved? I’d say yes, but I also believe that Starbucks is an operation that prides itself on hiring and taking good care of quality employees—the kind of people who make customers feel like part of a special community—a community where they can ask for a “Venti Skinny Mocha Frap” (or whatever) and not get looked at like a dum-dum. By investing time and resources in employee acquisition and retention, Starbucks invests in its image and—every now and again—brings on board an associate who is ready to go to extraordinary lengths to please her customers (including—but not limited to—sacrificing body parts).
I’m certainly not discounting the communications/PR effort that likely went to landing this story in The New York Times and CNN.com. There’s no doubt in my mind that once Starbucks’ communications/PR folks found out that this was happening, they did everything in their power to get the word out. And I’m sure they did a top-notch job. The bottom line is that this isn’t a stunt. This is a good person doing a genuinely good and selfless deed. To me it’s refreshing to see news of this nature getting national exposure, especially when you consider the fear, hate, and negativity that makes up most of the news we see today. This is a story that deserves its coverage.
I don’t know about you, but tomorrow morning I’m not only going to Starbucks for my ($2.06) cup of Joe, but I’m tossing a little extra coin in the tip jar. Who knows… Maybe my barista is my bone marrow match.
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